Evils of the flesh...

Have been on the net looking at vego recipes (I need some inspiration) & what a hotbed of online madness it is out there in vegoland - 6 million recipes available!!! (or something like that...) Looking at it all after awhile makes me feel dispirited, jaded & extremely cynical...& makes me think that vegetarians are somewhat freakish! A brief foray down my timeline of vego life (& subsequent fall from from grace) explains it all...

1. The fire & brimstone days - I'm 18 years old, burning with fervour & a love of punk rock - animal rights is my catchcry, butchers are scum...I subscribe to Animal Liberation magazine, eat copious quantities of Textured Vegetable Protein (5% ash?!) & am probably very annoying. This goes on for a few years...Animal Lib subscription wanes, but I still proudly identify...
2. The mid-twenties years - realise that all meat eaters aren't actually scum (yeah, it took a few years!) & that people can do what they want...less TVP consumed...less scrutiny of packets & labels...start not giving a shit about 'contains animal/or vegetable' fat warning on biscuit packets...hey there's a 50% chance it could all be vegetable fat right? Have an interesting meeting with former animal rights guy who now works for a Council as a feral animal controller, who proudly tells me that the day he got his gun licence was one of the best things he's ever done! This phase lingers on for a few years...
3. The 'my child will never eat meat!' phase - This lasts 2 years or so...my first chance to relish the sanctimonius sweetnees of being a righteous parent, until J points out I am being a narrow-minded facist...she's right of course, so slices of leg ham soon start popping up in the fridge for little C - who of course LOVES meat & can't get enough of the stuff! Start thinking that killing feral animals is a good thing & fuck any intrinsic 'rights' they may have had...start freezing Cane toads in earnest...
4. The 'I'm sick of this...I wonder what fish is like?' phase (aka "the downfall") - Am diagnosed with a chronic vitamin B12 deficiency & need injections to get back on track...'but I'm vegetarian' I wail to the doctor...a few weeks later I'm feeling hungry & rebellious - I order hot chips at a milk bar at Brunswick Heads...wait a minute! make that fish & chips! The meal is ordered, I feel trepidation...maybe I'll be sick or worse?...meal is bloody delicious, I snuffle it up & have childhood memories of same - ah sweet bliss!...much fish avidly consumed over next few years...Work conversations turn to earnest discussion in regard as to who actually does produce the best tinned tuna (it's Sarina, by the way - the chilli version...avoid the one with eggplant)...
5. The 'processed veg food is shit' phase - Come to this conclusion after one too many 'notdogs' (you have to hate that name!) where I felt like I'd eaten a cardboard box...re-read packet & realise that this shit is all filler & not much else & probably has very few (any?) health benefits... refusal to use the term 'vegequarian' - cute, but horrible...enjoy telling lifelong vego friends that I've gone to the dark side & seeing their reactions...
6. The 'looking for vego recipes for inspiration while still eating fish' phase - currently occurring! Looking at all those websites with their enthusiastic raves about tofu roast and vegan haggis just makes me think that vegetarians can just be a bit weird sometimes...& I'm talking western vegos, rather than cultural vegos such as many Indian folk...Those brimming endorsements for mock duck with savoury roast nut trimmings just come across as kinda creepy & immediately make me think of tall emaciated dreadlocked guys with indian armband tattoos hugging in the sweatlodge...

...Anyhow I've nearly used up my day with that rant...is it time to go home now? Bugger the recipe searching...Roast potatoes'll do for tonight!