Weather geek...

Pissing down outside...so of course it's time for a little distraction and time to check the BOM website. BOM as in Bureau of Meteorology, as in yes I'm a weird geek who looks at this site along with many other geeks, & yes I really should get a life...

But seriously, this is a great site! There's cool rainfall radar images, storm warnings, & lots of other stuff. Whenever there's a storm you can bet that the action at our house will be hanging around the radar image on the computer (provided we actually have power) & marvelling at the high intensity rainfall over Woodburn, or sighing in relief as Repentance Creek levels out after a 4.1 metre peak...I tells you theres dizzying highs and crushing lows to be experienced on the BOM site...whoever thought weather could be so emotional...

...and as an even better step up to weather geekdom is the wonderful Cloud Appreciation Society. Check out their site & enjoy more discussion on cumulo-nimbus than you can handle in a lifetime...and maybe order a set of the hottest cufflinks in town!

Up dog, down dog...

I've been doing 'Power yoga' (sounds pretty extreme doesn't it?) for a while now, and after last nights class have to share some of the more amusing aspects of it all...Our teacher spent 10 years in LA teaching & practicing, so has a very LA 'beautiful person' type outlook on life - we are often informed that we are all getting 'stoned on oxygen' in the class! She also has the odd habit of playing music through the whole class - often this is a mixed bag from Missy Higgins to Jack Johnson, which is all bearable & ok (well, maybe not Mr. Johnson as we all know he is the Fielders 'mighty white' of the roots scene), but sometimes she plays these painful new age type CD's which always makes me think of a porn soundtrack...tragic!

Anyhow, one of my teachers favourite topics is the good old anal sphincter...we're constantly reminded that it's the 'first muscle to go...y'know?'. This is usually followed by a regular spiel which is pretty much as follows:

"You should work that anal muscle, because you're gonna need it when you're older. But if you don't feel comfortable doing it, well...that's up to you, but you should know there is a whole industry in adult nappies these days. You can walk into any supermarket and see a whole aisle (always dramatic emphasis on this point, and a slight pause for the seriousness of it all to sink in) of adult nappies for people with this problem. And you have to ask yourself, well, do I want to end up needing that? It's a pretty obvious choice don't you think?"

We had this spiel again in last nights class, & as always, I have to refrain from yelling out "This is bullshit! I have been to Woolies & personally walked every bloody aisle, & I have to tell you, there is no dangling sign at the entrance of any aisle marked up in removable lettering stating "ADULT NAPPIES". I don't think I have even seen ONE adult nappy in the whole damn supermarket, so give this bullshit misinformation up!"

...but, of course I don't...I just move into the next pose, & watch my sweat patter onto the mat...while dutifully engaging my anal spincter of course...

A wee rant...

Spent the weekend de-asbestosing the house...not the most invigorating thing to do, but it made me appreciate the evenings, when I was introduced to the funniest video/DVD I've seen in years. 'Nathan Barley' was a series on English TV & it's out on DVD now - 6 episodes on one disc - can't recommend it highly enough, it rips the shit out of the funky twentysomethings who are convinced they are the coolest, most cutting edge crew in media, music & just about anything else...provided they have the essential mobile phone - in this case the Wasp T12 speechtool! Check out the trashbat website here for more info. I'm not sure how widely available this DVD is...mine is a borrowed copy from someone in the know...

Anyhow, this series just sums it up perfectly about how irate all this modern culture of 'kewl' just pisses me off, & how dumb & helpless we all pretend to be in the face of it. And it pinpoints exactly the problem I have with modern funky mags such as 'Monster Children' which primarily are just boys toys mags dressed up as cool shit (basically Ralph crossed with Rolling Stone).

An example: the guy I work with uses this poor man's brand of metrosexual shower gel which comes in a stylish container (black) with futuristically stippled sides (probably for 'easi-grip')...of course the contents are mysterious iridescent blue for that associated 'fresh' imagery, while the label has a great blurb on the front (written in a zesty, space-age type font) stating that the product is both 'oxygenating & invigorating'....arrrggghhhhhh! This is fucking soap! With blue dye added. In a different shaped bottle. Costing 10 times what it should!!!! And idiots (I would defer to the 'Cashed Up Bogan' demographic. Your real metrosexual would scoff at such a product, when CK no doubt produces a similar item for $30 or thereabouts) buy this shit! This stuff drives me crazy, & the sad thing is that it's everywhere & seemingly more prevalent every bloody day!

....thus endeth the tirade....I'm gonna get me some religion & go join the Amish..

Life in a caravan park...

Been travelling a bit for work lately & staying in many a caravan park - some good, some crap. Top 3 picks are:

• Aukaka (Nambucca) - for 70's type style & super budget rates & friendly residents
• Split Solitary (north of Coffs Harbour) - for nice Paperbark surrounds & private beach (grumpy manager tho')
• Pyramid (Tweed Heads) for tacky layout (each 'street' is named after an egyption theme...& yes there is even an Anubis Street as I recall), & complimentary macadamia biscuits. Also prone to grumpy manager syndrome.

Above are some lovely pics from residential caravan types from one up in Tweed - talk about gnome overdose! These 2 sites are right next door to each other, so I like the duelling nature of their gnomery...enjoy!

The bald and the beautiful...

Just realised the other day how damn bald I really am! Obviously I've been in serious denial...note horrified expression from The Kid. I am now sporting a kind of inverse mohawk...obviously there will be some excellent opportunities for a comb-over in later life if I feel like going down that alley. Who said us baldies (or follically challenged as some might say) don't have hairstyle choices?








...and the beautiful - blossom of Red lilly pilly (Syzygium hodgkinsoniae) - another Threatened plant from round here. If I was in J's counselling group, this flower might represent my very obvious wish for hair, and perhaps some deep seated issues with my place in the natural order...

some trash is good trash...

Just read about this on the SMH website - click on the sample & hear a ripping cover of AC/DC's 'back in black'. & why should AC/DC only be the province of yr traditional skinnylegged black-jean wearing rocker? You can check out Wings offical site here if this stuff lights yr fire. Maybe she really is the rock & roll messiah...and I would would also think a perfect candidate to be a Gay Icon - maybe next years Mardis Gras?

stay home & read a book...

Reading James Frey "A million little pieces" right now - yes, the 'controversial' one, the one that is on the cutting edge side of Oprahs book club (yeah, I didn't know there was one either!), the one where the author has been accused of lying & deceiving & disguising fact as fiction...

Anyhow, it's not a bad read, if you take it with a grain of salt & regard it as well-embellished fact. The whole deal is about a fucked up alcoholic/crackhead coming to terms with rehab. UnfortunatelyMr. Frey is from the 'tough guy' school, so he ain't gonna take the rehab bullshit lying down - if you can imagine Henry Rollins being an alcoholic junkie & then getting straight, this book is exactly what he would have written! Nearly every sentaence in the book is repeated several times over, so it's a damn quick read when you switch to 'skim' mode. A typical extract is (this is from memory): "I turn on the tap. The water burns. Its hot and it burns. I can feel it burning. Hot fire on my skin. It burns. But I deserve it." Get the picture? Some of this is almost laughable. This is like the tough guy hetero version of "Dry" (Augusten Burroughs) - where the protaginist is a very un-tough gay guy living in uptown New York - much funnier, & not so deadly serious...

Best book I've read in years is "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides - READ THIS BOOK! It really is a damn fine read...

six feet high & rising...

Pissing down rain, as it has all weekend...it's been kinda nice actually - a good excuse to slip into laziness mode. All the creeks are up, causeways flooded, with minor flooding due in Lismore tonight...will have to do 'the tour ' tomorrow.

Did what many other bored NSW-ians probably did on Saturday night & watched the FREE* Tropfest DVD that came with Saturdays SMH...Crapfest seems like a better term...just seemed like a boring rehash of previous years with even less of the charming trashy backyard jobs that are actually interesting. When a film ain't good, 7 minutes can seem like a bloody eternity!!! Best part of the night was cranking up the fire, burning some of our precious carbon & listening to the Dirty 3 'ocean songs'...I'm a sucker for a well played violin every time...

* Promotional material included

day of reckoning...

...and you thought it was just an ordinary Friday, well!...over at The Kids school, it is not only Tuckshop Day, but also American Indian Day as well! Forget the 10 years of Howard in office - this is the real event of the week! I'm sad to be missing out on the teepee making at lunchtime (so very North Coast!)...but I'm sure I'll get the lowdown.

Feeling weary from lack of sleep...went & saw BBK down at Byron last night - they were good, but will never play a great show in a town where anyone other than the John Butler Trio or The Waifs is considered unworthy. There were maybe 30 people in the room, 5 of who actually were interested. The supports were lame - Richard Fontaine were US alt. country types who just didn't do it for me, while another Brisbane band called Mexico City opened. I hate to rag on this band but they were pretty crappy...think any covers type band with the singer singing in an American accent & channelling Bryan Adams - sheesh! I'm not too up on the whole 'alt. country' thing...but if this is any indication, its a genre to avoid!

Over at The Kids skool they're probably putting up that teepee right about now, & tucking into their pizzas & mint slices...sigh...I am defintely in the wrong place today...

Fresh fruit for rotting forest floors...

It's official - there is actually a damn photo on here - amazing! ...& now I realise how stupidly easy it is there may even be more! Anyhow, photo is of the fruit of the lovely (& endangered) Small-leaved tamarind - Diploglottis campbellii for the nerds. Been out for the last 2 days in a good chunk of forest with at least 10 of these massive mature trees, with the whole forest floor scattered with these amazing red fruits...they're quite tasty too...altho why they are not being eaten by birds or rats is a total mystery.

Anyhow, after getting rained on & scratched to crap by lawyer vine & lantana I am back in the civilised world...where the hunza pies are good, the clothes are dry & Bluebottle Kiss are playing tomorrow night...is good.