Abortive sorrow...

Have just been spending some time checking a list of supposedly bad Australian band names here...some of them really were tragic, which threw me back to 1983 when I came up with my first band name. I'd just discovered the wonders of punk rock & was revelling in its general obnoxiousness & nihilism...I'd also just finished reading 'The Great Gatsby' for school...now there's a line in there somewhere where Gatsby gazes across the water at the green light and muses on the abortive sorrows of life...That was it! The perfect punk rock band name - Abortive Sorrow...brilliant! I thought I was so damn clever - the name was snotty & offensive (& very punk) but yet also had a literary reference, thus lending it some kind of artistic flair...I feverishly spent much time drawing 'Abortive Sorrow' in notebooks & searching for the perfect font...I think the favourite was (tragically) in the Old English lettering favoured by so many bad metal bands (but no umlaught over the 'o'). I was unpacking a pile of old stuff at my folks awhile back & I found an old folder with 'Abortive Sorrow' scrawled across it - I ended up chucking it out...maybe I shoulda kept it...damn! Needless to say Abortive Sorrow never quite made it into the flesh...

Rites of Spring...

Spring kicks off! Top pic is flowering Red bopple nut (Hicksbeachia pinnatifolia) going hard in the backyard...bottom pic is a Small bolwarra (Eupomatia benettiana) in flower...these buggers are from an ancient plant family & are very slow growing...their flowers open for one day a year before the petals fall off - I got to this baby a few days too late. Small dot on flower is a little weevil which is sucking up the pollen and pollinating many a bolwarra along the way...

Evils of the flesh...

Have been on the net looking at vego recipes (I need some inspiration) & what a hotbed of online madness it is out there in vegoland - 6 million recipes available!!! (or something like that...) Looking at it all after awhile makes me feel dispirited, jaded & extremely cynical...& makes me think that vegetarians are somewhat freakish! A brief foray down my timeline of vego life (& subsequent fall from from grace) explains it all...

1. The fire & brimstone days - I'm 18 years old, burning with fervour & a love of punk rock - animal rights is my catchcry, butchers are scum...I subscribe to Animal Liberation magazine, eat copious quantities of Textured Vegetable Protein (5% ash?!) & am probably very annoying. This goes on for a few years...Animal Lib subscription wanes, but I still proudly identify...
2. The mid-twenties years - realise that all meat eaters aren't actually scum (yeah, it took a few years!) & that people can do what they want...less TVP consumed...less scrutiny of packets & labels...start not giving a shit about 'contains animal/or vegetable' fat warning on biscuit packets...hey there's a 50% chance it could all be vegetable fat right? Have an interesting meeting with former animal rights guy who now works for a Council as a feral animal controller, who proudly tells me that the day he got his gun licence was one of the best things he's ever done! This phase lingers on for a few years...
3. The 'my child will never eat meat!' phase - This lasts 2 years or so...my first chance to relish the sanctimonius sweetnees of being a righteous parent, until J points out I am being a narrow-minded facist...she's right of course, so slices of leg ham soon start popping up in the fridge for little C - who of course LOVES meat & can't get enough of the stuff! Start thinking that killing feral animals is a good thing & fuck any intrinsic 'rights' they may have had...start freezing Cane toads in earnest...
4. The 'I'm sick of this...I wonder what fish is like?' phase (aka "the downfall") - Am diagnosed with a chronic vitamin B12 deficiency & need injections to get back on track...'but I'm vegetarian' I wail to the doctor...a few weeks later I'm feeling hungry & rebellious - I order hot chips at a milk bar at Brunswick Heads...wait a minute! make that fish & chips! The meal is ordered, I feel trepidation...maybe I'll be sick or worse?...meal is bloody delicious, I snuffle it up & have childhood memories of same - ah sweet bliss!...much fish avidly consumed over next few years...Work conversations turn to earnest discussion in regard as to who actually does produce the best tinned tuna (it's Sarina, by the way - the chilli version...avoid the one with eggplant)...
5. The 'processed veg food is shit' phase - Come to this conclusion after one too many 'notdogs' (you have to hate that name!) where I felt like I'd eaten a cardboard box...re-read packet & realise that this shit is all filler & not much else & probably has very few (any?) health benefits... refusal to use the term 'vegequarian' - cute, but horrible...enjoy telling lifelong vego friends that I've gone to the dark side & seeing their reactions...
6. The 'looking for vego recipes for inspiration while still eating fish' phase - currently occurring! Looking at all those websites with their enthusiastic raves about tofu roast and vegan haggis just makes me think that vegetarians can just be a bit weird sometimes...& I'm talking western vegos, rather than cultural vegos such as many Indian folk...Those brimming endorsements for mock duck with savoury roast nut trimmings just come across as kinda creepy & immediately make me think of tall emaciated dreadlocked guys with indian armband tattoos hugging in the sweatlodge...

...Anyhow I've nearly used up my day with that rant...is it time to go home now? Bugger the recipe searching...Roast potatoes'll do for tonight!

The gentleman's game...

Played my second game of cricket in 20 years yesterday...it's not a bad game once you strip it of its stricter & more pompous elements! Anyhow, we got hammered by the Mullumbimby team & I got out for a duck...oh the shame! I obviously need to work at wielding the willow...still, it was a pleasant way to spend the day in the sunshine. My Mum was very intrigued when I talked to her last night she even asked if we wore white! I had to tell her that it was casual cricket - north coast style, i.e where the players were smoking joints throughout, the umpire was very stoned & drank many beers while in his position at the stumps, as we all did while waiting to bat...good fun!

Saw a great DVD on the w/end "Everything is illuminated" - well worth tracking down...the book is supposed to be good too...get over yr flu J, we need you back!

Inertia...

Had a great waste of time today, where I travelled 1 & a half hrs to the Gold Coast for a meeting that wasn't on...the secretary placated me with bad coffee & scotch fingers while I fumed & got annoyed before leaving again...the drive home was a good time to get reacquainted with some tunes I ain't heard for years - Shellacs first LP & the first Breeders LP - both nice things indeedy...

This follows on from last nights waste of time which was watching 'Transamerica" on DVD...I hate to be so hypercritical of things, but shit, this movie didn't even fit in the 'trashy but pleasant bubblegumesque filler' category. Basically it is a below mediocre road movie with all the obvious themes that go with it - a journey, transformation, & ultimately (nauseatingly) self-fulfillment...but god it's a painfully SLOW & uninvolving journey...I shoulda been warned enough by the presence of a star from 'Desperate Housewives"...which I can now include in the dotdotdot guide to movies best avoided... presented below in all its narrow-minded glory...

Avoid ANY movie that involves:

• A focus on the American President
• A focus on any sport
• The major debut of a soapie star on the big screen
• Tom Hanks, Mel Gibson (post Mad Max) or Goldie Hawn
• The dreaded black guy/white guy mismatched duo (aka Ebony & Ivory syndrome)
• A musician making the 'difficult' transition to film

Any other suggestions? I'm coming up a tad short...

I'm feeling mildly elated that the horrors of 'Big Brother' are over for the year & I don't need to witness any more rampant boganism for awhile...but then on the other hand it's now 'Australian Idol' time instead!!!!...sheesh, has TV ever been so dire? (Was it ever good?) Anyhow, while I'm in list making mode I give you my 'essential things for any bogan' top 10 (in no particular order):

1. Bundy & Coke
2. Sunglasses
3. For him: Buff pecs; For her: boob job
4. The 'sportz pak' version of any car
5. Velcro surf wallet
6. For him: Boxer shorts with cute &/or suggestive cartoon characters; For her: G-string
7. For him: Ralph magazine; For her: appearing topless/naked & peering through blinds/smeared with grease/wearing builders toolbelt in Picture Magazine
8. For him: Beanie in Summer; For her: Ugh boots in Summer
9. Tan (Real or fake)
10. Subwoofer (or three!)

...yeah, I'm a cultural snob...any other suggestions?